✍️ As my children were sleeping soundly in the next room, I was lying in my own bed when a wave of calm washed over me. This was when I realised – for the first time since escaping domestic abuse – that I was finally free and able to be myself.
As my children were sleeping soundly in the next room, I was lying in my own bed when a wave of calm washed over me.
Domestic abuse is a tricky one because it isn’t until you’re away from the person and situation that you can finally see what was happening to you. Soon, though, it began to accelerate rapidly. What started off as a seemingly ‘perfect’ relationship soon led to me losing control of my finances, being constantly belittled, and controlled. He was never physically abusive, but my emotions, self worth, confidence – they took the biggest blow.I fell pregnant with my first child, my son, at 19 years old. It wasn’t a planned pregnancy, but I was happy – as a couple, we seemed happy. But our relationship remained volatile.
Social Services told me I was in a domestically abusive relationship and that my children were not safe. They told me to leave my partner but, in denial, I refused. The process of detaching myself from that trauma bond and relationship was not so straightforward and easy though. After so many years, I found myself having to completely rebuild myself and my life.
But I also knew I needed to make this work. I knew as long as the children had me, they would be fine. But who did I have? What about me? Her support was second to none, and I felt like she believed in me. I knew I could tell her anything. Soon enough, I connected with my children on a deeper level, understanding their little minds and how they learn and process things.