'Cutting ties with my late father was an act of self-preservation I'll never regret' 💬 'I didn’t grieve his death because I’d already spent 25 years mourning the loss of what I wanted him to be'
But I felt none of these things. I felt, in truth, very little at all. Because by the time my father died, I’d been estranged from him for almost 25 years: my entire adult life.is still a taboo topic despite it being significantly more widespread than some might imagine: a 2014 report for the charity StandAlone found that 20 per cent of all British families had been affected by estrangement.
Over time, I came to fear not just the outbursts but the anticipation of them. There’s a reason why Hitchcock focussed less on the horror of a violent act and more on the suspense of it. There’s something profoundly destabilising about growing up in a state of permanent unpredictability: not knowing which drunken version – the exuberant or the enraged – would walk through the door each evening.
Over the next couple of years, I had very little contact with my father. And when, soon after my 16th birthday, he phoned me and unleashed a torrent of drunken invective, something inside me snapped. I’d had enough. I simply didn’t want him in my life any more.
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