LalalaLetMeExplain gives advice to a woman who doesn't want to be a mum but her boyfriend wants a child
In a new twist on Lalalaletmeexplain's hit column, readers ask for her expert advice on their own love, sex and relationship problemsAre you an OK! VIP? If not, why not? It’s free and gives you backstage access to columns like this, exclusive home tours, special discounts and so much more! All you need to do is pop your email address below! P.s. if you’re already seeing this article in full, congrats - you’re already on our guest list! My partner and I have been together 3.5years.
He shared he also can’t imagine not being together and that it doesn’t feel right to end. I again shared my fears and why I don’t want children. I asked what his head is telling him, he said, "I don’t want to say goodbye to the person I love but what else is there to do?" I broke down as I thought that was the end. He held me for about 15mins then said: "I haven't made a decision".
Not wanting children is a great choice, it’s equally as great as wanting children, neither is better than the other. Society is slowly waking up to the fact that not all women want to have kids, it’s becoming far more accepted as a very valid life choice. As a general rule I would never even dream of saying anything other than ‘Good for you!’ if a woman told me she didn’t want children.
"Ultimately, if he really wants to have children and she doesn’t it may lead to resentment in the relationship later on, either because he will continue to hope that she will change her mind, or he may feel denied of children. Equally, she may hope that he may change his mind or feel like she’s disappointing him in the long run by not having kids.
There is no way of knowing how things may pan out. You could both remain very happy and childless by choice. You could have a child and suddenly find that you were made for motherhood. You could have a child and deeply regret it. You could stay together and build resentment because one or other of you feels trapped/denied by going with the other person’s choice. The only way to really tackle it is through individual and then couple therapy as Pascale said.
Belgique Dernières Nouvelles, Belgique Actualités
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