💬 “Learning to live with any sort of grief is a battle, and accepting a parent starting to date after loss might not be a smooth ride at first,” writes DinaGachman
The first time this possibility came up, it was only a few months after our mother died. A family friend approached Kathryn and said she had a woman she’d like to introduce to our father. Since it was so soon after our mom passed away, we said absolutely not, and never even brought it up with our father. It might sound like we were being ridiculous, but when you’re experiencing deep, it’s perfectly fine to act ridiculous, unhinged, confused, enraged, sad, and nonsensical, often all at once.
Since my father is healthy, young at heart and social, I knew it would be good for him to eventually go out with women. Once I accepted this fact, I sat down with him and asked him to show me his dating profile. I helped him choose photos and told him that he needed to write more in his bio so people wouldn’t think he was a reticent serial killer. We scrolled through profiles together and, once he got out there, he started telling me about his dates.
I did have to teach him a few things about dating in the 21st century, like explaining what ghosting is and telling him it’s something he shouldn’t do, or reminding him not to be 20 minutes late for a date . He still misses our mom, and my sister Jackie who died in 2021. He’s been through more grief than anyone should have to endure, and so instead of fighting against his dating, I’ve come to accept it.
The last thing I want is for my father to be lonely. I want him to stick around for many years to come, and if that means he goes to dinner with women or even one day starts a relationship, that’s the way it will be. Learning to live with any sort of grief is a battle, and accepting a parent starting to date after loss might not be a smooth ride at first. Like anything in grief, it’s a process, one that might feel horrible one minute, and not so bad the next. The best thing you can do is hang on for the ride, be kind to yourself, and help your parent scroll through apps if that brings them a little bit of happiness.
Belgique Dernières Nouvelles, Belgique Actualités
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