'All I knew was how grateful I was to have someone in my corner, on my side. Because for so long, I never thought I’d allow myself to be in a relationship.' | ✍️ Calli Kitson writes
Sometimes expressing how I’m feeling takes a bit of time, but again, he’s just there, listening, comforting and supporting me Enough to get my breathing – and my rising panic – back under control. ‘Don’t worry,’ Sam, my boyfriend, whispered in the middle of yet another board game at Mum’s on Christmas Day. ‘It’s nearly time to go home. Just another few minutes to get through.’
The ordeal was covered up with banter and hushed tones so I tried to just get on with my life – burying the trauma. ‘Are you a lesbian?’ some people went as far to ask. I even asked myself the same question. But I wasn’t – I was just too traumatised by what I’d been through. We’d never been romantically involved before but, whenever I caught a glimpse of him in town or the shops, I felt that giddy feeling you get when you have a crush. I’m not sure he ever noticed me and, of course, I convinced myself nothing was ever going to happen.
He rang me late on a Saturday night and we spoke for ages. He was kind, patient and ultimately told me what I needed to hear – that he wasn’t like the previous men in my life. I remember thinking how calm he was for the hour he stayed. I tried to play it cool, but my mind was racing. I was actually doing this, I thought – this was a huge step.
Belgique Dernières Nouvelles, Belgique Actualités
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