'Allow me to answer your questions upfront: no, we are not celibate, and yes, I suspect you don’t fully believe me.'
The author and her husband celebrating their 19th wedding anniversary in May 2023.Allow me to answer your questions upfront: no, we are not celibate, and yes, I suspect you don’t fully believe me.
For middle-class me, however, sleeping separately was a matter of survival. Before we were married, I tried sleeping through the night in the same bed we’d had sex in ― generally mine. I got through most of those nights without needing to decamp to the sofa, but even then, I found the whole undertaking stressful.
We did ― and I did not. I tried timing my bedtime ahead of his, so that I would be solidly asleep before he crept in next to me. I took sleep aids. I meditated. None of it was a match for the snoring, and the drugs only succeeded in leaving me groggy. The day I nearly fell asleep behind the wheel and narrowly missed barreling into a tree, I knew it was time for a talk.I was weary and desperate, so I was blunt. I told him he snored, loudly and every single night.
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