Living with a brain that wants to kill you: ‘I used to wake up every morning and hate me’ Actor Joe Tracini says that he was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and struggled with alcohol and drug abuse
, somebody asked me whether this was a new thing, or whether I’d been suffering from it for all my life but just hadn’t realised. It’s a good question.
Basically, I think I’ve lived my life backwards. All those crucial developments you go through as a child, I missed, because I was too busy hanging around with grown-ups. Both my mum and dad, and I idolised my dad, loved hanging around backstage, in dressing rooms, and then, after the show, going out for a Chinese with the adults.
I was certainly always much happier in a theatre than at school. So now I kind of wonder whether I missed out, in terms of development. People thought I was like a pensioner when I was eight, and now, at the age of 34, I’m behaving like a massively pissed off 10 year old.straight out of college, and for the next five or six years, I didn’t stop. I just kept working. I moved to London, and that’s when I lost my innocence, I think. When I didn’t have any work, I didn’t know what to do with myself.
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