Madonna, my mum and me.
I’m shivering cold as I wait in the car while my Mum use the back of a CD case to scrape off the ice. Slowly with each passing crunch, she reveals the world outside the windscreen. She smiles at me as everything comes into focus.Most of my morning rides to school were accompanied by the queen of pop, not that she would ever know that my Mum, a scouse woman who grew up on a council estate, idolised her the way she did. And, by proxy, so did I.
Between each sharp intake of breath, and as each word wrapped itself around our mouths, we knew there and then that no matter how hard we tried, our sex would define the way we moved in the world. And this frightened my mother no end.By this point in my life, my mother and father had separated, then divorced, then fought. Caught between the crossfires, I found myself to be quite lost during my teens. The car rides stopped, as I opted for the bus to quite literally anywhere else.
In my halls of residence, alone, after my Dad had left me with a food shop and some words of wisdom, I turned on my iPod speaker and iPod , and playedI missed my Mum, I wished my Dad could have stayed but above all else, I was so glad to be so very far away. As I’ve grown, and as my mother has too, our bond has become stronger and less fraught. What was once a difficult relationship for both of us is now galvanised and unbreakable. I think of her during each performance and try and video call her. I think of those frosty mornings driving to school, and the sad days following the divorce – both life events punctuated by the music being played before me. No answer.
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