'The bond with my kids has disappeared'
I'm sorry to hear you had such a hard time the last few years and that you are having difficulty expressing affection to your children. I'm pretty sure your awkwardness is associated with your anxiety. Perhaps because expressions of love had such negative connotations? Your children love you and you don't need big shows of love if you can't manage it now.
You can just sit in the same room with them, on the sofa near them and just reach out and hold their hand when you are watching telly together. Just a simple gesture like that to start and then move on to cuddling them while watching telly on sofa. Whatever it is just start small and build up gradually. And don't be too hard on yourself you're still recovering from past hurts. It's hard enough having to look after yourself, doubly hard when you have kids to consider too.
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