NI mum opens up about coming out as gay after having her son

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NI mum opens up about coming out as gay after having her son
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'I wonder sometimes, if I didn’t have James, if I would ever have come out'

Anyone who has ever had to come out as part of the LGBTQ+ community will know how difficult it can be. You wait, with bated breath, for the reaction of whoever you just told your truth to. But for someone who is coming out after becoming a mum, there is one thing almost everyone is sure to ask, ‘I thought you had a son?’

She explains: “How could I tell James, ‘You have to always be yourself,’ if I wasn’t doing that? I couldn’t be a hypocritical parent, so as soon as I had the thought [that I might be gay], I had to act on it.” "I wonder sometimes, if I didn’t have James, if I would ever have come out,” she tells Belfast Live. And it’s clear that, for Rachel, her son was the reason behind her coming out. But, he was also the reason why it was so complicated.

“I do get questions from people, like, ‘Do you ever think you would go back [to dating men]?’ But this isn’t something that I just decided, or a phase I’m going through,” added Rachel. And it’s easy to see that having a son means she is facing some stereotypes about sexuality more often than most. “I think that was because of my sexuality, and I maybe wasn’t fully invested in my previous relationships with men because of that,” she shares and admits that her coming out has probably affected her relationship with James’ father, Jack* the most.

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