'I felt marooned on an island of grief shared by no one, clutching our joint history like a broken raft with no hope of being rescued.'
You’d think the people sharing the news would be more thoughtful, but it’s not their fault. They will have done their best to contact friends directly but, for me, I knew all about the family and friends of the deceased, but their relatives most likely knew nothing about me.
Freed from the possibility of romance, we were able to share the best and the worst of ourselves online. We knew the intimate details of each other’s daily lives. I even knew about his health worries, which, I now know, were not unfounded. I may well have been the last person he spoke to before the green light next to his name went out for good last year.
I have messaged his daughter now ― the one I knew all about, though she’d never heard of me. She kindly invited me to the funeral, but it’s a long way to travel, and, though I would recognise names and faces and would smile as people recounted his stories, there is no one there who knows me. “There are no words,” people often say when they talk about grief, and sometimes it is true. There is no word yet for the loss I have experienced. Perhaps it is time for us as a society to invent one? Online losses are surely increasing, and the gaps they leave are sometimes gaping chasms in our lives.
Belgique Dernières Nouvelles, Belgique Actualités
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