What makes people exhibit compulsive sexual behaviours? Therapists tell Kasia Delgado about the signs of sex addiction and what to do when it starts to ruin your life
. “Having a sex addiction does not in any way mean you’re going to assault someone. Having a sex addiction doesn’t mean you disregard the issue of consent. Having a sex addiction does not make you a rapist.
“That’s not to say some sex offenders won’t have a sex addiction, but there is no link between sex addiction and criminality. It is dangerous to misunderstand this, because it stops people with sex addiction coming forward for help, and only increases the stigma around an already stigmatised addiction.”1. Insecure attachment. “We all need to be attached to somebody when we start life so we can survive as babies,” says Saddington.
2. Trauma. “If a man has experienced trauma, he might be drawn to using porn or sexual behaviour as a way of coping with trauma effects. It could be bullying, it could be sexual abuse, it could be an accident, it could be a bereavement or death, it could be any number of things, and something started happening where their way of soothing distress became linked to sex.
“Sex addiction has always been around,” says Saddington, “but technology has made it a much easier and quicker habit to engage in. Once you started being able to have computers in your bedroom or phones by your side, it was easier for sex compulsions to become something people couldn’t break. Technology, and easy access to it, is part of modern society and we’re encouraged to use our devices. The opportunity to engage in a compulsive sexual behaviour is always there.
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