We need an agreed-upon term for the stage before “girlfriend/boyfriend/partner”.
To be fair, Carrie is using the word “lover” somewhat in jest, and the rest of the girls definitely heckle her for it. But now that I’m a single woman making my way through the relationship minefield, I’m revisiting the Carrie/Petrovsky relationship out of a total lack of suitable terminology for “the phase where you’re definitely dating, and definitely like each other, but aren’t capital-P Partnered yet”.
When in doubt, I’ve been defaulting to “the person I’m dating”, but that sounds, as mentioned above, clinical; “lover” is out of the question, and euphemisms like “main squeeze” and “honey” make me want to projectile vomit. Unsatisfied by the options occurring to me, I turned to Twitter, the last resort of the on-deadline journalist – and of course, answers abounded.
“I like to use ‘crush’ as long as humanly possible, even after defining the relationship,” 25-year-old web developer Owen Lytle told me. “In the beginning, it’s just an accurate representation, but then it becomes something silly because it’s obviously more serious than a ‘crush.’ Still, the silliness of it means I get to avoid defining it further to anyone.” I’m a fan of that reasoning, and “crush” does have a fun sound to it; all aperitifs and sundresses and long, lazy morning coffees in bed.
Option 2 comes courtesy of music journalist Suzy Exposito, 32, who prefers the term “suitor.
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