When I look back now at those years, when my wife went off to work as I sat in my empty flat, it dawns on me that I was perhaps more depressed than I thought Was it because my wife earned more than I did, making me less of a “man”? 🖊️ Mark Piggott
As if by magic, along came two kids . Being home for much of the time, this meant that I now had to do my own writing, plus the laundry, plus attempting to reason with two strange little people with strongly-held ideas on what constituted cleanliness, entertainment, and toiletry solutions.
This never bothered me; indeed, I rather enjoyed the fantasy of being a kept concubine. What was less enjoyable was the school run, which meant spending most of my day hanging around the school gate with other parents, almost all women, who sometimes seemed to actually judge me simply because I might be wearing slippers and a dressing gown.
When I look back on those days now, I realise that despite the fact I was doing what I had always wanted – to write – I felt guilty. Lynda was wonderful; said to me early on, “you write – I’ll work”; but after a few years of rejection I felt less able to look her or myself in the face and feel anything but useless. Sometimes it seemed I was simply wasting my time, playing at being a writer, and the longer this went on the worse I felt.
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