A wedding is about romance, love, creativity, imagination and happiness, not paying over the odds for mediocre food.
to merge assets, clearly: we did it because we wanted to gather all our loved ones before everyone got too busy, too far away, or too dead to be there. When we decided to do it, it was January, freezing cold, and we were drunk.
We’d both lived our twenties from pay check to pay check, and between us, we’d put on shows and club nights, thrown massive parties, released albums, and made theatre, always somehow solving the problem of a budget without any savings in the bank. How hard could a wedding be? A year prior, I had published a book asking whether we should even get married? What a colossal waste of money, time, energy and imagination. If all the bridezillas and fussy gay men in the world put the same amount of energy and creativity into, say, solving climate change then we’d be looking at a much brighter future. And yet here we were, scratching our heads about how to throw a wedding on no money, for a growing guest list .
Something I learned while writing this book, in an interview with the world’s most sought-after wedding planner, was that people will love a wedding if it reflects the couple’s values. We had both grown up on the queer scene in London – we had nurtured, and been nurtured by, our community. And, even though marriage equality was in many ways a mirage for said community, we wanted to try to make our wedding feel like a queer community event.
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